Fools paradise

Fuck it

October 19, 2014: Back and Forth

My emotions are getting the best of me. One day I feel like killing myself and the next day something will happen to where I think I actually have a shot at being happy with her again. But will I ever be happy with her really? I mean just being with her and holding her and giving her kisses and hearing her laugh around me makes me happier. But if we ever get back together can I ever forgive her for everything she’s put me through? Can I forgive what feels like total betrayal and all the lies? I just don’t know what I should do, I hate not being with her and thinking about anyone else being with her makes me want to commit murder. But does she feel the same? Would she even care if I was with anyone else? Does she even care about me at all? I mean if she didn’t she wouldn’t have kissed me…right?


She asked me to delete two years of pictures of her off my computer, how can i just delete them like it never happened. Like we never happened. Two and a half years of my life just erased! Woe is me….



People dont understand how hard this is for me. That I feel like you’ve forgotten about me. I know what happened is neither our faults and it had to happen but you cant lie you have it easier than me. I know you dont think about me, wonder how I am, want to even talk to me. I know you dont check…

(via wordsforwisdome)

Isn’t it fucking terrifying that no matter how many promises they made, no matter how long you’ve been together, someone can get up and walk out of your life without a second thought and you have to carry on living because the world doesn’t stop for any of us

I fucking hat how she makes me feel i hate being jealous i hate being fucked up and still caring about here

I just want you to give me a chance, i want you to want me. I don’t get how you could just let us go without even a second thought. how could i be so meaningless how could you throw me away like garbage

Sweet tarts

I just ate a sweet tart with liquid xanex on it, hopefully this makes the pain go away.